Dive in the Deep

            Arizona summers are absolutely blistering, with record highs in the 110’s even as high as 120 or higher on a few occasions. The pool is where we typically cooled off. I grew up at a time whereas a ten-year-old, my younger brother and I were allowed to walk across our town to the pool without an adult, and we often did. With our Albertson’s grocery bag packed with our sunblock and towels. Drips of colored dye from our quickly melting popsicles we ate on the way, marked the trail of the way we traveled. For safety of course.   

   One particular day, I had finally worked up the courage to jump off the diving board into the deep end. I revisited the idea in my mind over and over to the taunts from my younger brother, “Chicken!” He said. I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge, especially against my brother. I heaved myself up the side ladder and out of the water. I took my place in line for the diving board. My feet scorching on the concrete as I was determined not to chicken out. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the work scrommit, but yes, I wanted to scream/vomit as my spot in line inched ever so close to the ladder leading up to the diving board. It sat just to the left of the lifeguard tower, holding a huge umbrella on top of it.

Under the shade of the umbrella sat a woman who appeared to be college age, which I just thought was so old then. She had dark back hair and wore dark sunglasses and a brimmed visor. Finally, it was my turn. I cautiously climbed up the rungs of the ladder. The ridges of each step dug into the arches of my feet. The metal of the railing burnt the palms of my hands and I gripped tightly onto them. “Hurry Up!” the kids behind me shouted impatiently. I continued my slow ascend. “Don’t Vomit”, “don’t vomit”, “it’s all good”, “you won’t die” I said softly to myself as I made my way halfway down the moving board. Unable to see the eyes of the lifeguard as I attempted to make eye contact with her before I jumped, I was certain she was not watching. Sneering from my brother echoed in my ears from the shallow end as He watched for an impending breakdown....... I took a mouthful of air into my cheeks and not so bravely flung myself off the side of the diving board. It took no time at all to realize because I jumped off the side of the diving board, I now had not enough momentum to make it to the bottom of the pool to push off to get back to the top. I was stuck in the middle. Panic set in and I flailed around like a dog who accidentally fell into the pool, losing all the air I had in my mouth. Somehow, I finally broke through the surface of the water with a loud gasp. I draped myself over the side onto the concrete that I was sure had been heated by lava. Every voice seemed muffled until finally the sharp stern voice of the lifeguard broke through, “Don’t jump off the side again!”. I thought, oh no worries I would be doing that again…ever but I only had enough breath to say “ok” with a fake smirk. Did she not notice I almost died?!  

Sometimes, God calls us to really big, scary things. Often when we finally work up the courage to be obedient, we take a mouthful of breath and jump off the side in fear and hesitation. We miss what God wants us to fully experience and be a part of. Out of fear we act in disobedience, which could lead to harm. Unlike that lifeguard, that I am still unsure was actually going to save me..... we can have full confidence in a God who has already saved us. Should it be to pray for a stranger, start a new career or job or to love an enemy. Whatever He calls you to, God is fully able to protect you in that calling and step in to save you should you get stuck in the middle. So, take a deep breath and confidently commit to jump off the front of the diving board into the deep end with God. Move to that new city, start that prayer group, have coffee with that stranger. God has big things in store for you. Also, ignore the taunts form those around you, God can handle that for you too.